I really love Valentine’s Day, always have, always will. Valentine is my middle name (well, strictly speaking that’s not true, it’s Valentina, but potato potahto). But, even though my enjoyment of the day has never been dependent on my relationship status, even I have lived through episodes of February 14th that made me feel like the conversation hearts were made specifically to mock me and the line to punch all happy couples in the kisser started right behind me. So if that’s where you are today, I feel you.
Most people will tell you to buck up, and distract yourself with something fun, and think positive. Not bad advice at all, but I happen to be a big believer in the catharsis of a proper cry. You’ll pick yourself up and put on a bright shiny attitude tomorrow, tonight you have a free pass to have yourself a bit of a wallow.
1. You’ll need ice cream, of course. Anyone who has ever broken up or been broken up with knows the numbing power of a cold treat. Might I suggest you whip up some ice cream sandwiches? These look particularly delicious. Because we all know if you didn’t have to use a utensil to eat it the calories don’t count. Besides, “I’ve eaten a few ice cream sandwiches” somehow just sounds better than “yep, there goes the whole pint”.
2. Move on to a little session with the sad love song playlist. All the better to cry with my dear. Let it out. (by the way I challenge anyone to listen to Sometime Around Midnight and not instantly think of someone and/or start crying, it can’t be done)
3. Now you’re probably ready for a stiff drink, so let’s dispense with fancy cocktails and just go for the straight stuff. Pick your poison and pour it over a few whiskey stones so there is no ice cube meltdown, we need our spirits full strength tonight.
4. For the evening’s entertainment may I suggest a private, many tissues at the ready, screening of Wuthering Heights, or an equally misty session with Love in the Time of Cholera? No matter how tragic your current state of affairs is, I’m still willing to bet it’s not as insane as Heathcliff’s situation, and you probably haven’t waited 50 years to try and win back the love of your life like Florentino. So at least there’s that.
5. Chocolate heart, rolling pin, smash it to bits. You’ll feel better I swear. And you’ll get to eat the carnage. Win win.
6. Now dry your tears, buy yourself something pretty, and get back out there. Even if you don’t actually feel better at least tomorrow Valentine’s Day will be over. Scoop up some of that sale candy and know that it will be better next year.